Are you afraid of repeating past mistakes?

by Wendy Greer

So how many people keep telling the same story over, and over, and over, without being able to move on.  It's as if the story defines who they are. 

Similarly, many people get stuck in habitual destructive behaviors that they can't release.  They hide behind many fears—of the unknown, of upsetting the status quo, of making a huge mistake, of appearing stupid, of disappointing someone … the list is endless. 

A huge shift can occur in these situations when you look at them through eyes that seek the gifts in these events. There is always wisdom to be gleaned from past, challenging circumstances.  It can seem as if you are not allowed to move beyond that history until you have acknowledged and internalized the incredible learning that was generated by those circumstances.  The resistance to releasing seems as if it might even be a protective gesture that prevents you from not carrying the new wisdom and skills forward.

Once you acknowledge, with gratitude, the incredible growth or realizations generated by a past event, it is easier to release the debris that you no longer need.  It can be incredibly freeing and renewing when you take this step.

When habitual non-expansive behaviors ensnare you, it is wise to step back and acknowledge that at some point that behavior made sense and had a purpose.  Thinking small may have made you less of a target in a violent household, never speaking up might have kept you safe from a bully at school, obsessive perfectionism may have resulted in the only approval you could get from your parents. 

When you look at these behaviors from this perspective, you again are able to go to a place of gratitude for them, acknowledging that they kept you safe or in some way enabled you to perform up to expectations.  Once you realize the wisdom that was inherent in this behavior, you can thank it for doing exactly what you needed at that time.  You can also acknowledge that you are now a grownup with resources and capabilities far beyond what you had when this habitual behavior served you so well.

An "I now choose ….." statement coming from your present position of resourcefulness and adult options is a great way to hone in on what belief or behavior would now serve you much better.  Remember, as well, that you may need to reassure your other-than-conscious mind that you will continue to protect yourself when needed, but you will use your adult discernment to determine what is truly a threat and what is just an illusory fear you need to move through.

These ongoing assessments, made from present moment awareness, will have an incredible impact on the life you live.  You will have incorporated the wisdom from past events, but will no longer let the events themselves deter you from living fully in the power that is your birthright!

The "Express Gratitude" exercise in Jack Canfield's Effortless Success is a great tool for incorporating gratitude into your daily life.  It can be used on past events such as those described above, as well as events that are currently happening.  There seems to be an interesting correlation between the frequency and regularity with which you express gratitude, and the number of things you have to be grateful for! 

Simply make a habit of asking yourself the following questions on a daily basis:

What am I grateful for?
Why am I grateful for it?
How can I express my gratitude?
What specific action can I take to express your gratitude?
When will I do that?

Do this for the next forty days, and notice how incredibly abundant your life is!