As subject really. Which paraliminal is best to help verbal communication? I'm a shy and quiet sort of person. I have still managed to make friends somehow, except i still feel a lack of bond in friendship. Also i don't know if i'm paranoid but people seem to avoid being alone with me, as if to avoid the awkward silences. This in turn makes me feel awkward too and my mind goes blank and can't think of anything to say. If we're in a relatively large group i'll usually end up feeling cast out. Like when a group of kids crowd round something interesting and there;s usually a small kid trying hard to jump up over everyone to get a look in.

It sounds like New Behaviour Generator might be the ideal paraliminal for your situation.
Photoread4me

There are 3 paraliminals that come to mind that would help you in your situation.

Relationship, Instantaeous Personal Magnetism and one oft overlooked Sales Leap

Personally I think Sales Leap would be your best bet, since you summed up in your post the desire to improve verbal communication. It isn't really about becoming a Sales Man but more having confidence when communication with people so that you can positively interact with them. It's a skill that successful sales people have. Being able to communicate with others easily.

Sales Leap is good one if you have to do public speaking, standing up before a group for presentations and if you know you're going to be in a gathering of people.

Use it the day before if you can or night before.

The other 2 would also help with how you relate to others also.

AlexK

thanks for the replies so far.

Unfortunately i don't have Sales Leap. I do however, have the other 3 that have been mentioned (New behaviour gen, Relationships and IPM). I've just had brief look at the case slips for all 3 and it seems that the common structure is to remove limitations then to model a person demonstrating the desired attribute.

I have used these paraliminals on several occasions already, but i haven't noticed any profound effects. I think it maybe because i can't identify the cause of my inability to communicate. Is it better to try and break down the problem into several sessions or perform repeated sessions with the overall problem in mind.
For example, i've only been identifying my problem as not communicating enough with people and in order to overcome that i would need to trust them more.
Would a better alternative be to try and analyse why i don't communicate with others freely and take several sessions to eliminate those factors before moving on to a session to model someone?

Should i choose just one of the tapes and work with it regularly or would cycling them be a good idea?

Any other suggestions for an effective approach to my situation will be appreciated.

Hi,
Could you examine your past history? How was your childhood? Did your parents turned you down, or verbally/physically abused you? Did your school classmates made fun of you? Did you remember something else that could mean that you are afraid of approaching people? I can identify those problems as my own ones. I think that in those cases, the New History Generator along with any other one such as Self Esteem Supercharger can help you.

I'd take the relationship tape and recycle it for a week. It may loosen up a reason why you don't trust and and the same time collapse it. If certain aspects of your communicating with others come to mind prior to using it, go with that.

Then hit it with a session with New Behaviour Generator.

AlexK

Now that you mention it Betsemes, i didn't have a particularly happy childhood. During the early stages of my education i went to 4 different schools in total. This is probably where the majority of bad experiences happened. Then during high school i kind of went into a depressed state. Well i would seem normal around people, just at home i would always seem depressed. My mum would ask me if there was a problem but i wouldn't answer. Now thinking back i don't understand why i didn't even share my feelings with my parents. In fact i very seldom have long conversations with my family.
Maybe it's possible that this is 'inherited' from my father, as he exhibits similar behaviour (i.e. doesn't converse much)?
Argh now that i've been thinking there seems like so many little things which may contribute to my lack of communication. I think i'll stop here so i don't end up blaming my inadequacy on every single bad experience that's ever happened to me.
And unfortunately i don't have new history generator.

Hi 4ndy
The New History Generator definitely can help, but it's not the only way and using it could be time consuming as you go through an unhappy childhood. Unfortutately, that's something too common. Fathers tend to be afraid of giving physical love or developing a close relationship with their children mostly afraid of being accused of sexual abuse (I have this personal theory that mainly says that a generation of underloved children is fertile soil for developing criminals, wonder why criminality raises year after year apparently without control?).

Actually, I find Alex suggestion on the Relationships tape interesting. I have 20 paraliminals and I most of the time overlook some of them. I'd give Relationships tape a try. In fact, I'll review it and see if I can apply it to my own situation. It could work faster than New History Generator.

hello again.

i've been trying out Alex's suggestion of using relationships then new behaviour gen (both sides of both tapes, one session for each, i.e. 4 session cycle). However, i haven't noticed or seemed to have made any significant progress. In fact, I feel that now i'm concentrating on trying to overcome my 'communication disfunction' more, it's become even harder/more awkward to strike up conversations.

So i'm basically feeling a bit lost as to what to do now. Should i continue with the same approach for a few more weeks? How many weeks should i give it before trying another method if i don't see any positive change?

Hi 4ndy, one thing you might want to try is go to xtrememind.com/freeware.htm and download a file called Deep Mind Ulta II. Its a free file thats about 10 minutes long, and they claim that if you listen everyday for 10 days (and loop if while you sleep if you can) you will "Quickly notice now relaxed, confident and irresistibly charming you'll be!" They also have a couple other free downloads that look interesting.

What the heck, its free, whatta ya got to lose?

Good luck

George