I also remembered how I felt
and what I thought on those occasions–
I felt like she was telling me
that forgetting was expected of me.
I couldn’t figure out why–
forgetting things had never occurred to me,
until I was told not to.

I developed a habit of “forgetting” things.
I didn’t really forget them–
I just thought I was supposed to demonstrate
that there was a flaw in my memory, for some reason.
I thought that I was supposed to forget.

It was very easy to move into
deliberately “forgetting” things
if I didn’t want to do them. Forgetting became an excuse,
a lie I told repeatedly to honor my contract with my mom,
and with society in general,
and also to serve myself.

I determined that I would NOT place my daughter in a similar situation!
I would say “remember your umbrella;”
“did you remember to brush your teeth;”
“I know you will remember to call me when you get to your friend’s house.”

We avoided so much of
the emotional charges
that came from forgetting!
It is so much easier to remember something, than it is to forget it!

And of course she would forget sometimes,
but it was just simple forgetting,
not an agreement with the world.